God,
I could be changing people right now
I don't wanna be here
I don't want to read the rest of this chapter
The pages are blurring together, I can't tell them apart anymore
I just want to skip to the next chapter, I wanna see what's next
I don't care if I may skip a few important lessons
A few things that I need to learn now so that later,
in the next chapter, I'll be prepared... But I don't care
Your plan is taking too long
I could be changing people right now
I could be singing and worshiping and loving...
I don't like the picture you're painting of my life
I see the way the picture of others is turning out and it's not fair
Why do they get the beauty? Why do I get the pain?
I could be changing people
But I'm just a canvas in the mighty hands of the divine painter
Why does it feel like you've dropped the paint brush?
I know I can't paint my own picture
But I can't wait any longer, something's gotta change
I never doubted you before
But now a single question about your plan for me
And I wonder if I was ever even a part of the plan
Was I just riding the "God Wave" for a bit, and now it's gone?
Was I just an intricate part of someone else's plan?
Did you forget me?
A distant memory of how I use to burn for you
Now it's dry, dead... Why am I still here?
I COULD BE CHANGING PEOPLE
This part of my life can't be that important
What am I not learning? What haven't I seen yet?
Do I need to pray the right prayer?
Do I need to not cuss, always tithe and never miss a Sunday?
Is there something I'm not doing to make you upset with me?
Has our relationship faded to nothing over time...?
Have you even noticed?
We aren't the same...
Why can't I see your fight for me?
Is this a test? Is this a test?
I know your Word, I know your heart
I just can't feel you anymore
And I don't wanna be here anymore
I'll do anything to not be here anymore...
I am being called to let the sun set on this mindset
To be renewed in my mind
To have a change of heart
People here need my obedience to God
"People here" is why I'm still here.
